yet another one bites the dust

rose sacked another girl this morning because she smoked and drank too much coffee. She then got an emailed resume from an arabic guy, and she looked over it straight away, saying that she "doesn't want to employ arabic people." ........ On a happier note: i checked in Paul Jennings today, who winked at me when he walked past my desk later. I photocopied his file and kept the original - including his signature. What did we talk about? The weather. Why of course!!

sacking

Yesterday Rose sacked her husband. She treats him like dirt. He was being paid 7 million dollars to develop fox studios, and then the project folded and now he is "broke" - so he is housekeeping - employed by his wife. He doesn't understand the logistics of courtesy, however, and walked in on a couple without knocking -and of course when they checked out, i got the butt of their complaints---> "a man walked in with a key and we freaked out and thought it was some kind of hold up."..............

So rose yelled at him and said in a defiant tone to me later"I SACKED MY HUSBAND!!'................

Then today she sacked the new receptionist - after 2 days. The receptionist slammed the door after her, and rose screamed at the top of her lungs "DUMB BITCH!" Shortly after, she made tea and bread and we sat down watching her 50th Birthday party DVD. Shrotly afterwards, she got me to write some checks, valuding $30,000. She said to me"what is $30,000 to me?" I wanted to kill her. Possibly it could eliminate poverty for a day in kenya.

snow at work

elle is right: trains make you grumpy. maybe its the constant motion, the fact that you are stationary and everything is wizzing by can make you feel like you are in a timeless vacuum. so there i was, letting a depressed mood wash over me and suffocate me, and then i looked out the window at leura and pulled a smile out of my back pocket and whacked it obscurely on my head like a Mr Potatohead: SNOW!! Last night roses' husband / pet gave me a lift to the station. going up katoomba street, there was thick sleet piling really thick underneath the windscreen wipers, and it was thick enough on the road to see the tyre tracks.

dreams of evolution

I dreamt of an old rickety house, with weak floorboards and infested by all sorts of wild animals. I was exploring every nook and cranny of the house, ascending many flights of old stairs. Suddenly i fell through the floorboards, and landed on the shoulders of a gorilla on the floor beneath me. After struggling around, i dissolved into his body, and he fell through the floorboards, splintering under his cumbersome weight. He fell on top of a badger, and once again his body dissolved into it. My minds' camera zoomed in to the badger, becoming almost microscopic. I saw little mites scurrying under its fur. I was sucked into them, and then i became a prehistoric mite fossilised in the floorboards. - - - -- - - - - ->>>> I woke up and realised i had just dreamt some weird form of evolution, going back in time...

Untitled: titled

On the bus home today a lady sat next to me and fell asleep. As we neared the windey Linden bends, she started to rock. I dreaded the next corner, hoping it would veer her to the window side and not to my shoulder. She fell an inch away from my shoulder, me leaning out into the aisle and choking back laughter. Rose must have bi-polar. She yelled at david for being in the kitchen instead of doing rooms, even though rose had just called him to come and help in the kitchen. She was mad. Then she came upstairs just before the end of my shift, and i was taking off my uniform trying to cover the fact that i had lost the buckle on my pants and my fly was half undone. So i just came out with it, and got a safety pin. Then she went on about how we have so much in common and she showed me that her pants were also experiencing the same problem. So i gave her a safety pin and we stood on reception with flies half undone (bear in mind that she is 54.), fixing them up.... just as guests walk through the door. I yelled GUESTS and leapt out of the office, and she followed...red in the face from laughter.

stuff.... hmmm.... bork

collection of odd stuff, no doubt ending in something depressing:

My feet hurt. I got the dead skin scraped off them (nearly 4 layers) revealing fresh red raw skin underneath. Impossible to walk on, espeically when i had to serve 400 meals at work. That was fun. Sometimes i wonder why i just don't walk out.

arguments escelate at the Palais Royale

ssssusssspense............... A lady who recently was employed as a housekeeper by the name of Maureen, has a husband who is the manager of the Hydro Majestic Hotel. The pay didn't go into Maureens' account, and both parties blamed the other, leading to both becoming more and more angry...... So Rose said "come in and i will give you a cheque, then i never want to see you again." So Maureen came in and said "i just need the cheque quickly." But rose wanted to have a bitch before she would sign the cheque. Their arguments escalated. Then Maureen said "Look rose if i could just have the cheque. My daughter is out there in the car, and if anything happens to her because you have held her up, my husband will sue you." Rose shot back "well why don't you just invite your husband in to bash me up then? Some manager he is by the way: his hotel has the worst reputation in katoomba." Maureen was trying to be brave, and literally tossed her head back and laughed evilly. Maureen said "well i have heard a lot about your guesthouse: and how the owner has a reputation for being the most awful bitchy woman in the whole of the blue mountains." Rose finally gave her the cheque and Maureen said she wouldn't have even thought of coming back, and that she is a shit to work with. Rose said "well, i hope you are cleaning shit for the rest of your life." Maureen said "well at least i won't BE shit for the rest of my life, and slammed the door. Rose SCREAMED (so loud that her voice cracked) "COW!!!!!!" and Maureen tossed back her head, laughed and was gone.

The whole time, i was standing behind rose, half shitting my pants, and half laughing at the guts Maureen showed in standing up to the most evil woman to ever set foot in the universe.

THEN Rose went through the time-sheets, and noticed that natalia, the german housekeeper, hadn't been having her breaks, and had made nearly $300 by doing so. Rose went on another repetitive rant about "if i show respect to her, i expect her to give some respect back to me." Then she said she would take that amount out of her next pay, and said she would break her word and now make Natalia pay $2000 for her accommodation.

I can't believe how hypocritical she is.

I got home and cried, coz i have to agree to all the shit she goes on about. And its just me and her now: once again everyone else has quit.

Yabber yabber yabber

Do you ever have one of those days where nothing goes right, from the smallest detail to the largest? It starts from the second you wake up, to the second you go to bed.

I was woken up at 4:30am by a steady knocking, that sounded like it was coming from the inside of my wardrobe. I thought a person had been trapped in there. And early in the morning, your brain tends to assume weird things are true, so i couldn't get back to sleep. Half an hour later, there was a SCREECH, BANG, RUN. POSSUMS (who sounded like the Aliens running over the roof in the movie Signs, decided to have a domestic and were IN the roof, smashing into everything. We all got up and followed the noise.

Of course i then couldn't get back to sleep.

Rainy day.

Nearly missed my train

Got frustrated by my new earphones which got so tangled in their 'convenient' carry case, that i, in frustration (i was fiddling for half an hour and crying in frustration by Springwood), that i ended up breaking the insulator and pullling the wires themselves out of the cords.

Then i was nearly run over by my year 6 teacher walking in the mist down to work.

Walked into work and listened to Rose's CRAP (the same crap that she has been crapping on about for four months, paraphrasing stories that she is WAY TOO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT and proves that she really doesn't have a life.

Then i set a three course lunch function for ninety people.

Then rose hung around me ALL day, and crapped on again about uninteresting stories that made me want to jump off something high.

THEN SOMETHING SHOCKING HAPPENED: (see next post for suspense)

Feet and stress

This is gonna sound really gross to you all, but it proves how much stress i have been under the past few months. I went to the podiatrist the other day (yesterday) because my mum was worried about all these callouses on my feet. The lady looked at my feet, and raised her eyebrows in surprise. She said "this is an extreme case of WARTS. Are you under a lot of stress? because this is how your body is reacting to it!!" I think the human body is amazing. Mum said "you've probably got them, because you can't yell at rose, so you are keeping the stress inside and it is coming out through your feet!!!

Crazy guesthouse - part 2

Today at work, i had a long chat with Maureen, the 69 year old ballerina with her poodle called Napoleano.

She went to check-out, and produced a high-tec mobile from her gucci handbag. She then asked me to video her doing ballet in the ballroom. So there i stood in the middle of the "grand ballroom" video-ing a 69 year old short eccentric woman wearing leggings and a floral skivvy, doing ballet and saying "oh I have had the most WONDERFUL time, enjoying the absoluuuute ambience of the Palais Rrrrrroyale. And young Aimii (french accent) here has been most splendid."

Then we sat in the lounge talking about classical music and how she will take some of Rose's home made muesli home to her mummy.

The people you meet.

______

Then today rose said "This russian girl is so thick, she asked me whether you put water or milk in scrambled eggs. So i held up an egg to her face and said "YOU SEE THIS EGG? ITS FILLED WITH SHIT, ALRIGHT"

Peter Pan smacked into the window. I have killed him

I used to (or still do) have this obsession with not wanting to grow up. I forever wanted to be a kid - which is why i don't drink coffee even. We called this my "peter pan thing".

BUT I JUST KILLED HIM.

I FORGOT TO LEAVE THE WINDOW OPEN. HE SMACKED INTO IT AND DROPPED TO THE GROUND, FLATTENED. THE MAGIC PRESSED OUT OF HIM

And just then it all hit me: I miss school, seeing everybody , lounging aroudn on the grass. Being told off by Mr Dennis (who really didn't care) for bludging in study hall, falling asleep in english instead of watching King Lear.

Instead, i am working full-time for an insane woman who now claims me as her daughter, just got my P's license, my credit card, my medicare card, online net banking, and on my days off i hang fucking washing on the line.

First star on the right and follow it til morning. I've lost sight of Neverneverland.

The strangest things go on inside a hotel.


The other day these people had booked in for two nights on a romantic getaway escape package, and they'd devoured a whole bottle of scotch. They got into an argument, leading to "I'M GONNA KILL YOU." So the man got locked out of his room, wearing only his underwear. He sat in the public lounge area for a while, and then he walked over the road to the police station.

Rose was called at 3am to pick up a guest with no clothes on, gave him a bathrobe and a free room.

They left the next day, the lady first, the man following ten metres behind with his tail between his legs.

________

Then yesterday a lady of age 69 walked in. She was short and dolled up to the nines, with awfully plastered on make-up of all different colours."Do you have any rooms available for tonight, alone. You see, i left my poodle Napoleano (aid in a french accent) and my man back home."

I choked back the laughter.

"Oh (she looks at a renaissance print) i have that print - only it is much larger. Oh!! The ambience (said again in a french accent) of this hotel - its absolutely DIVINE". I don't feel adequately dressed: i usually only go out in the public with stilletos. Oh shame on me!!".

She requested us to carry her bags (a coat and a little red satchel of some brand name no doubt) up the stairs, saying "oh this is so EUROPEAN!". She inspected the room, asked if we had an electric blanket and explained that usually Napoleano keeps her fragile body warm. She then fixed up her make-up (what does she see? a queen? an old lady looking like a soggy porcelain drag queen?" and shooed us out of the room.

Worst thing is: the behaviour of others is contagious. I caught myself talking like a pompous pom (OH BUT I AM!!!) for the next half hour.

au revoir

crisis mode

I just realised why I have been in a crisis lately: i haven't written a diary for ages. I have written something about every day for the past seven years, and in the last month i have been too busy. It used to be my way to reflect on things, to sum up and order all the things in my head.

So: things that have happened lately:

Last week i got my P's. Afterwards i got out of the car and realised i had put the L plate upside down. Then i realised i had parked in an emergency clearance zone.

Tuesday night i called my boss rose to tell her i am resigning in three weeks. I had been pre-emting it for a few days, and just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was the hardest thing i have ever had to do, because she has lived next to me, 8 hours a day at least five days a week for the past three months, we've eaten chinese, pizza, had a few drinks together, and i've been the victim of her strange personality. She literally changes her stance on things mid-sentence.

I knew i had to tell her soon because she needs to replace me. Number one employers mistake: never make an employee indispensible. So now i have to train this russian girl who speaks no english and types slower than a frozen tortiose.

I rang her to tell her because it was the only way i could do it. I hd to make up this mig story that my cousin owns a guesthouse in england (wich is true), and that she'd offered me a job there (which is not true). I just said "rose i don't know how to say this, but i've been offered this job in england." There was asilence, jsut like in the movies. Then she went off at me, and she got louder and louder and the things she was saying got mor and more irrational: escelating to:"

i HOPE YOU ARE SWIMMING IN SHIT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."

"I have never wished this on anyone else before, BUT I WISH YOU BAD LUCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME WILL COME BACK, I HOPE IT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE FLYING."

I could hear her sobbing, and i started sobbing a bit, but tried to not let her get to me, as i have done for the past three months. Laughing at her jokes like "i should make a tape saying "stuuupiddd peeeeople" because can you see, amy, how everyone is so STUPID."...."I can't deal with these mental people."

The next day when i walked in to the kitchen at work my heart was pulsing so hard in my chest i thought it would burst out on to the kitchen bench and rose would eat it infront of me. But i was greeted with a hot breakfast. I gave her my letter of notice and she said "how this can happen? how long you've been going behind my back?" Then she switched personalitiies again and started crying and said "my girl, you've become my long-lost daughter. I've grown you wings, and now you have to fly. You are so good, which is why i have to let you go."

Then she hugged me and drew back holding my hands and looking into my eyes. She was crying and i couldn't tell whether she was going to make out with me or draw a carving knife out from her boobs.

Apparently she had stayed up the night i told her until 1am talking with the russian girl, drinking wine and bitching about me - but i think she must have had some sense talked into her.

I am living a lie. To save me from a previous lie.

But there is no other way i could have done it.