The strangest things go on inside a hotel.


The other day these people had booked in for two nights on a romantic getaway escape package, and they'd devoured a whole bottle of scotch. They got into an argument, leading to "I'M GONNA KILL YOU." So the man got locked out of his room, wearing only his underwear. He sat in the public lounge area for a while, and then he walked over the road to the police station.

Rose was called at 3am to pick up a guest with no clothes on, gave him a bathrobe and a free room.

They left the next day, the lady first, the man following ten metres behind with his tail between his legs.

________

Then yesterday a lady of age 69 walked in. She was short and dolled up to the nines, with awfully plastered on make-up of all different colours."Do you have any rooms available for tonight, alone. You see, i left my poodle Napoleano (aid in a french accent) and my man back home."

I choked back the laughter.

"Oh (she looks at a renaissance print) i have that print - only it is much larger. Oh!! The ambience (said again in a french accent) of this hotel - its absolutely DIVINE". I don't feel adequately dressed: i usually only go out in the public with stilletos. Oh shame on me!!".

She requested us to carry her bags (a coat and a little red satchel of some brand name no doubt) up the stairs, saying "oh this is so EUROPEAN!". She inspected the room, asked if we had an electric blanket and explained that usually Napoleano keeps her fragile body warm. She then fixed up her make-up (what does she see? a queen? an old lady looking like a soggy porcelain drag queen?" and shooed us out of the room.

Worst thing is: the behaviour of others is contagious. I caught myself talking like a pompous pom (OH BUT I AM!!!) for the next half hour.

au revoir