work in england part 1, with hassan.
10th October: Holland House, Notting Hill / Kensington
I got no sleep last night because I was stressing about starting work, and my family leaving. I couldn’t keep my heart rate down, so I broke out in a cold sweat and had a snippet of a dream about the queen. Whatever sleep I got was interrupted by panicking thoughts like “oh mum hasn’t given me her shampoos yet…”
I woke up and wrote a few pages of my diary (using the adrenaline running through my body – I’ve never typed so quickly and unaccurately.) and I packed, burnt some more disks and forced down a bit of breakfast. I felt nauseous all day. We settled my account at the bank, which was one thing off the list.
Anne and gervase cooked us a wonderful lunch – gammon and vegies, and it made me wonder where my next home cooked meal would be. I rang elle, which was … relieving I guess, to debrief with an ‘old friend’ as it seemed. I guess one needs that.
We dropped my family at Alamo to return the car, surprisingly untouched despite dying a thousand deaths on the road in the last 6 weeks. I burst out crying again – which is what happened when I saw them. I’ve never been so prone to crying before, but its stress I guess. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing your own capabilities.
I have to learn to trust myself more, but that doesn’t come easy.
Anne and gervase drove me to the hostel, which runs onto the Kensington palace gardens – a huge park with flower gardens, football fields and Japanese gardens. Nature is my therapy definitely. I have never lived in the city before, so I need easy access to a park to maintain my sanity.
I checked in then had a stroll around the park. It felt surreal – like I was an outsider peering in to a world to which I don’t believe I can fully belong. A legal alien. Everywhere I looked there were scenes which looked like a scene from a movie or a book. Elegant women walking their poodles, boys playing football and Frisbee, a girl running into a flock of pigeons. Couples sitting calmly side by side on a bench dedicated to someone who adored these gardens, watching the people coming and going, the birds, the squirrels, and the vast mass of colourful flowers.
I stopped and leant on a picket fence and watched a group of black wild bunnies in the lush green grass. Not too far away were two peacocks. I took a look through Kyoto gardens and saw a glimpse of a fox flash by. A second later a bunny scurried in the opposite direction. Three little ducks slipped into the water, which was coated in a soapy film, and their trails sent the soap swirling in delicate designs – a living painting.
I sat on a bench dedicated to Ben, who “was killed by a drunken driver, but loved the world”. I absorbed the scene – a maze of short cut hedges lining flower beds of deep purple lavendar, sunflowers etc… a squirrel scuttled up to my bench and climbed onto it, and sat and looked at me. It had grabbed an acorn and sat, as I did, looking out at the gardens, holding the little nut between three tiny paws… (just seeing if you are concentrating.)
I went to bed really early. But no-one cared when they came in later, leaving the light on, meaning I had quite a disturbed sleep.
11th October:
I woke up at 5:30am, surprisingly alert but again running on adrenaline. I made my way out of the hostel 15 minutes later, and hurried down Holland Park Walk, a brick wall on one side and a deep expanse of bush on the left. It was eerily lit by old fashioned lamp-posts which gave out a haunting weak light. A breeze rustled the autumn leaves before me, and I felt a presence, I really did. Seconds later, a fox appeared about twenty metres before me and stopped, silhouetted by the light. I continued walking and it scurried away.
The subway I wanted to catch had flooded, so I was stuck in the dark suburbia, no idea where to go. I found my way, luckily to Kensington high street station, having made a complete circle. Found the School, Linden House, quite easily, but it was locked. I was let in and found my way into the staffroom where I met angie, who directed me to the residential area. She instructed me to get Alex ready for school. She opened the door and in a hospital like room, a little boy lay awkwardly on the bed. He was pretty good. She left me to change his nappie etc, which I had no idea how to do on a 10 year old – they are pretty heavy to lift up.
We hoisted him into his wheelchair and I helped him brushed his teeth. It was frustrating because he started crying and the only sound I could get out of him when I asked him what he wanted was “eh eh em” like anne from little Britain, literally.
After that I wheeled him into the dining room and fed him breakfast. 15 other kids, some in wheelchairs, some sitting, some wandering around aimlessly… it was organised chaos. Every child occasionally let out a heart wrenching scream. Many dribbled. One, who was particularly difficult, was foaming excessively at the mouth and shook his hands violently. I would hate to be the one feeding him because he was awful. More food went on his apron than anywhere near his mouth.
At this point I was introduced to Hassan, who I am to be working with for the next few weeks. Compared to the others, I guess he is relatively easy. He is wheelchair bound, and I am not sure what exact disability he has. He is intravenously fed, which I thankfully don’t have to do, but the result that comes out the other end is revolting. I must have a pretty strong stomach, because it didn’t really phase me when we had to change him. He dribbles constantly and has a huge rolling tongue. He doesn’t talk, but moans and shakes his head in a figure eight, rocking violently in his wheelchair.
But the staff love him. They come up and give him hi-5’s and hugs (he is very strong and thought my head would pop off my neck). They call him a ‘charmer’ with the girls, and ‘gorgeous’, because he has these shocking blue eyes and darkish skin.
I was directed to our classroom, learning how to use the disabled lift. The classroom has seven kids and 6 staff. One on one attention, and they need it. They are all severely disabled: Mimi is an asian girl who walks, scratches, farts, and grabs. Miles is blind, with hardly any eyes on his face, but he is really smart, walks well and I quite like him. Kieron bites … hard, is half blind, walks, and musical. But he says random things really loud like “fish cakes tonight.” It’s the only time I don’t laugh at random outbursts. Ben rocks violently and is about 16, but walks ok. Beatrice is wheelchair bound and has eyes really wide apart, and shakes her hands a lot, I think she is quite difficult. So hassan is relatively quiet.
I started off the day with pooey nappie changing, which I just supervised – its not my job thankfully!! Just as well – nick is six years trained at it and still says he can’t get used to it. We hoisted him onto his change table and I had to hold his hands so he wouldn’t stick his hands in his poo. It stunk. I can’t put up with a normal poo smell, but this was intravenously fed liquid food that came out the other end looking exactly like clay-like sticky green duck poo. It took half a bottle of wipes to clean him. He managed to get his hands in it twice. He’s 15. And thought it was all a big joke.
Nick said he was surprised I handled it so well.
We did some activities like ‘maths’ (passing a physio ball around, trying to hit it five times.) lots of sensual stuff and musical stuff , and no written at all. Hassan is working on sign language, but hasn’t got the hand control to sign himself. I worked out that the head shaking was a sign of distress, and the tongue rolling and dribbling was a sign of happiness. He also spits, which the class room manager, mags, says is bad manners and not because of his disability.
We also had ‘break,’ where I sat with hassan, looking out on 40 kids in a pe hall. It was tough not to cry. Each one’s disability is so different. Each is in its own world. There is no interaction between them. Lots of little kids, from 4 to 16 were blind, and would walk until they hit something, dribbling and moaning. Others would spontaneously start screaming and rocking and biting each other. I know it sounds awful on my part – but it seemed like I was watching a scene from ‘shaun of the dead’, looking at a bunch of child zombies.
But then when I looked at the dozens of staff who have this obvious love for these kids, it makes me feel a little better. And when the kid actually responds with a laugh or anything that resembles a smile, it’s the most rewarding feeling and you can’t help but smile. Like when we took hassan on the trampoline and he was giggling uncontrollably.
The day sort of dragged on, but probably because it was so overwhelming, I did so many knew things, and I had gotten up early and worked from 7am to 4pm.
Thursday 12th October: 37 working days left (why am I already counting down?)
Had a better day today. Mainly because there were no pooey 14 year old nappies involved. Took the class to the shops, their highlight of the week. We got hassan some sherbet because he can’t eat, but can taste it on the tip of his tongue. It was weird walking down the suburban street with seven adults and seven severely disabled kids, because some people were staring and some were trying too hard not to stare. But I felt like I was being very… I don’t know the right word – humanitarian, the good guy, the charity, etc… the one who everyone watches and thinks how hard that job is. I felt sort of proud of myself for getting here. But I wouldn’t do it again – its all a bit too much sometimes. Its not really a holiday – it’s a learning ‘experience’. Always is. Had a chat with a few of the girls (staff) in the class, who are quite nice, and these days I will talk to anyone who looks remotely friendly, because I don’t really talk to anyone at the hostel. (except I met up wit ha new Zealand family who are really nice and I get along well with the eight year old girl.)
Friday 13th October: 36 days of work to go
Maybe I am superstitious, but Friday the 13th was a bad day. The kids were absolutely PSYCHO. I felt unsafe. I have already got a bruise on my arm from being bitten by keiron. Crystal was insane, we had to lie her down in the dark room to calm her down. I had to supervise ben on lunch duty. He looked at me and stopped on the swing, got up and walked toward me saying “tickle” and I panicked. ‘stay there ben, wait for aleqwa.’ ‘finished’ he said. He is a big boy and I know he could easily hurt me. I’m scared of most of the people in the class. Probably why I am with hassan, because he can’t ‘get me’ in a wheelchair. He does spit though. The only part of today that was ok was ‘computer club’. A cool blind kid called Jamie is a wiz on the computer and went on the internet to play heavy metal. He had the voice program on though, but even though he can’t see a thing he used a normal keyboard and was quicker than me on the computer. But I actually got to have a normal conversation with him, rather than listening to “ah ah em. Soooon. Finiiishhed. Fish cakes for dinner. Aaerrrghhthig (crystal).”
Saturday 14th October:
After a considerable sleep-in, I had my first breakfast at the hostel – yay no packed crossiants. I felt a little bit down, well, a lot: very lonely, very overwhelmed: I was finding the job testing and counting down after only a couple of days. I wanted a place to live and looked for flats on the internet. That got me nowhere, but I did get on msn and talked to elle, which was therapeutic whingeing. Funnily enough, it did calm me down. I love the way that we can talk endlessly about normal / deep things despite not seeing each other for yonks.
After that I made my way down Kensington high street and did some shopping. Good god, yes, amy, did some shopping. It wasn’t really ‘retail therapy’ because shopping distresses me: spending money and making decisions: my two pet peeves. But it sort of brought me back to the world, being around people, in a familiar environment.
After that I walked through hyde park and sat in a deckchair looking over a flat lagoon covered in ducks. I love parks in the city because literally the moment you leave the pavement, you are transported into a peaceful refuge that clears your head and gives you space to breathe and think.
Then I walked to the victoria and albert museum. It was disappointing that the da vinci exhibit had ‘sold out’ (how can that be?), but I saw a lot. Particularly interesting were the stained glass displays, the greek courts made of casts – like walking into Greece, rome etc… also the Japanese ones were interesting, and the modern art, especially the coke label covered crucifix. Then walked up to harrods, the famous department store. Of course I had no intention of buying anything, and didn’t, but to just see the food courts, filled with exotic seafood displays no bigger than a mini tub of yoghurt, topped with a crab claw holding a paprika dusted lemon: just $25 for three bites.
The Egyptian escalator was amazing. As you ascended you were surrounded in shining gold mummy heads and hieroglyphic adorned walls. Some very qwerky and expensive homewares: $25 for a fork, and $125 for a plate.
Walked and walked and walked. That’s London for you.
Sunday 15th October:
Managed to get up earlier and make the most of a nice day. First I went to Buckingham palace. Saw a guard on duty, and felt silly to be part of the crowd who stand around a person standing perfectly still. Walked through st james’ park and wandered along the thames, watching two squirrels spiralling up the twisted tree trunk playfully. There were swans, geese and various waterfowl on the banks and in the murky water. Headed along to see the Royal Mews, the royal horse and cart collection. Saw the state cart, which had been used since the 1500’s, but was apparently very uncomfortable. The queen said it ‘made her feel seasick.’ It was amazing to learn how they get it out of the building: they remove the whole side wall and after a ten point turn taking half a day they edge it through the two pillars with only centimetres left on both sides. Also saw the Australian 1988 bicentennial coach which is the most luxurious, featuring central heating (the others have hot water bottles only) and electric windows.
After that I headed up to Covent Garden, which is a famous market area with street performers, sort of like circular quays and the rocks without the water. I bought a cool david and goliath magnet with a dog on it saying “some days I just want to pee on everything.” I watched the coolest street performer. This short liitle guy who roused the crowd up, even getting an audience above in the restaurant. He was very cheeky, like, when this group got up and left, he chased them with a knife and made them sit down, which they eventually obeyed. Then when he was appealing for donations, he said “the money isn’t for me.” He grabbed a random kid and said “its for my son.” Then he juggled three sharp knives on top of a ‘volunteer’ he chose from the crowd.
After that I bought a jacket(after a ridiculous amount of deliberation and rationalising), and then headed up to the British Museum.
This was the most fantastic museum I have ever been to. I spent an hour in a section called ‘death and dying’, which sounds really morbid, but it was interesting as it had collections from all cultures, African to PNG, showing ceremonial masks, pills and all things to do with medical and spiritual healing. It sort of inspired me to travel the world and see the less fortunate countries, because they are so much more of an experience. I loved little things like how in the pacific they coat themselves in clay for mourning, and as the clay dries and painfully cracks off, they end mourning. And how pulling bone joints apart will disarm the soul. The things I have learnt.
Also saw the rosetta stone in the Egyptian part. Its cool about travelling when you get to see things that aren’t necessarily impressive, but famous to say “I’ve seen that.”
Also swa ‘taboo’ exhibition, with feathered masks and islander boats etc…
I got kinda lost on the way home because the subway terminated and I had to get two buses. I hate buses because I end up just as far away as when I started, because they never thake the exact route. And thereis noone to tell you when to get off. But at leasyou get a bit of a view.
I had a fantastic talk with the new Zealand family who I had been having meals with at the hostel. We talked for hours about everything from how political decisions were made to determine time differences – time zones aren’t straight, they wiggle around countries. Like china is all one time zone, despite one half waking up as the other half see sunset. Then we talked about things from ice age and animation, to what its like working in a disabled school, where you realise that a lot of the teaching is quite futile, and sometimes, (she said this, so don’t call me horrible), it seems ridiculous to keep them alive. But then you see the other side, you see the genuine love the teachers and carers have for these kids – the new zsealand mtother said it all: that there are tow categories of people, those who speak to the person themselves, and those who speak ‘about’ the person to their carer, as if they don’t exist. Sure, we don’t know what level of understanding they have – whether they are comptlely oblivious to the conversation, or whether they are understanding every word and just can’t react to it – that would be the most frustrating thing ever.
We also talked about what you gain out of travelling and I felt sort of proud of what I have done this year – I have experienced working full time, living independently, working with kids with disabilities and bipolar crazy croation boss, flying by myself, multiple modes of transport on one journey, conquering the streets in various cities, map reading, talking to strangers, meeting people from every continent in the world and about 20 different countries. Its not easy, but it is very rewarding, educational and develops you – I now know what my strengths and weaknesses actually are, where before they were just ‘words’ to fill up a CV.
Monday 16th October:
Had a better day today. Everything seemed a lot calmer, and apart from hassan spitting a lot in the afternoon, I actually had a bit of fun with him. Like I wsa reading to him and he actually turned the pages, clapped at the end and giggled. I had to feed a deaf and blind and very twitchy boy called franklin, and it was so frustrating. He’d finally raise the spoon to his mouth and I’d be like YES, and then he’d flip it upsdie down and he’d get it all down his front. Worse was when he got it in his mouth and then it all fell out again. Its all part of the ‘e’ word: experience.
TUESDAY 17TH and Wednesday 18th:
Both days were fairly ok. We had music, which was kinda fun because miles was on the drums and hassan wsa on xylophone (I love playing the xylophone…)
On Wednesday hassan was spitting and choking and every so often he’d convulse and all this thick foam would come out of his mouth. Then in the afternoon we had just finished changing him and he vomited. Then we got back to the classroom and we were reading him a story and I had just come back from getting paper towels to clean up his jumper and wipe more foam from his mouth, when he vomited into the towels I was holding. Lucky in a way that I was there to collect it for him. Again, I was surprised about my strongish stomach. The things I have learnt to do!! Anyway, he went home that afternoon.
I had to stay in a different hostel tonight because Holland house was booked out, so I got quite lost trying to get to Pimlico. The hostel was similar to the one in new york, just cleaner. And the room was filled with all nice girls: two from Quebec, one from italy, one from Australia and an amazing girl from Manchester. She had just come to live in England for three years, after getting funding for a research grant: she is going to be transcribing a historical manuscript for the next year of her life. She was so interested in other people, and was one of those angels that you briefly meet.
THURSDAY 19TH:
This morning I had to wake up really early because I had a long subway trip ahead of me/ I had to catch five subways in the spaceof one hour, because they kept terminating the lines. Which would have been ok if I (a) knew where I was going and (b) it wasn’t 5am.
I didn’t dress alex, but insteadgot a girl called kirsty ready. I was talking to her as we were putting on her lieg splints, and we were testing each other s knowledge of animals noises. I said “what noise does your favourite animal make.” She said “chocolate pudding.”
Anyway, I got to work and was assigned to replace rosemary, meaning I had to work with two classes, of older kids with mild disabilities. They were AWESOME and I had the best day so far. There is one kid called Bradley, who is blind but Is a really quick brailler (I got to work with him on the brailler, which was fascinating). The things he can do: when we were making papier mache darleks (from dr who), he did his all by touch, and gave his a mowhawk!! I mainly worked with a guy called huzma who is very slow, but it was satisfying actually teaching, rather than caring as I do with hassan.
I also worked with a guy called adam. He’s pretty blind, but really funny, because he’s into ramstein and trains. He came up to me really close and said “gosh you have an awfully long neck. I want to touch it.”
Friday 20th:
This morning I helped get crystal ready. If I can get her ready, I feel like I could get any of them ready. Crystal is extremely difficult. I had to brush her hair: she has the biggest afro I have seen. So I just flattened it with a whole lot of gel. Quite a disaster. But the strangest hing happened: she stopped in the hallway and gave me a hug. Apparently her home situation isn’t very good, and I kind of feel sorry for her. Every so often she comes up really close to me and stares at me with her big white eyes and this huge grin on her face. And then the next moment she is lashing out and off in her own world fighting the demons. That’s what it seems like.
Anyway, today I got to look after the 4 year olds. One, imi, kept crying so I left her to the other girls and looked afteresther, who is gorgeous. It was sort of boring just watching them play. But then we had a party and the best god damn cheesecake I have ever had. A lot of the kids just kept eating and eating, until they were sick. And then they tried to eat that. Esther doesn’t eat but instead ssat there hitting her head with a plate for half an hour.
After work, to celebrate the start of half term break (next week off yay), we all went to the pub. I only spent two pounds on a bitter lemon, then three people bought me drinks and a plate of chips. I met a girl called emilie who is from bondi and is really interested in art therapy. I couldn’t believe how much we had in common. She even stayed in Holland house at the same time I was there. What a coincidence!! Anyway, I was s partry pooper and left at 7pm, because I couldn’t stand the smoke anymore. My clothes stunk of it afterwards.
I was proud of the meal I made: garlic honey chicken and chilli thai stir fry. Made almost from scratch. Sort of.
Saturday 21st:
This morning I went to earls court to look for a flat. But realised it was pointless trying to wander around and wait until something jumped out at me. So I went back after walking through three suburbs without realising, and went on the net. I found afew places, including one for 100 pounds a week, as abedsit for 5 weeks in a family home with free wifi in Putney. I hope I get that one. After that it started raining and then started hailing and the street flooded. The next moment it was sunny. Freaky weather.
After an early dinner I headed off to the Tate Modern, open until 10pm. It was fantastic. There were heaps of surrealist dali works, including the metamorphosis of narcissus, and the lobster telephone. The most shocking thing though, was when I was walking through the sculptural surrealist gallery, and in the next room I heard an irish guy who was putting on a Spanish accent and shouting “this is shiiiiiitttt. Where is liiiiiife.” He’d drag out the last word of each sentence. I thought it wsa a performance work so went round to check it out, but it turned out to be an eccebntri guy calling everything ‘crap’. They called security. But the funnieset thing was the reaction of the others in the gallery. Everyone was silent with shock and amusement, and as he paraded around the rooms cursing at each work with a “this is shyte amegos,” a group of people, curious, followed him, holding back the giggles. I have to admit iwas one of them.
A few of my favourite works was a quartet theatre of small snippets of music and sounds, each screen flashing something different but all playing simpulateneously. It was chaotic but mesmerising.
Then there was pollocks ‘rhythms of nature,’ where the black swirls dominated the other colourful swirls, looking like seething figures morphing into one another, tyring to project a message to the outside world. It sort of… came alive. Then Fiona rae’s night vision, 1998, which was a black canvas with a few colourful geometric shapes. Ontop of this were a few random thick sloshes of paint, which was a few colours that had not quite blended in on the brush. It was a grat combination of organic versus synthetic amd was def something I would hang on my wall.
And who could forget the slippery dips which swirled from the top of the 7 story building to the bottom, as an artwork that people could actually go on!!!
Got back pretty late, after walking over the millennium bridge at night.
Sunday 22nd - Tuesday 24th:
Did all sorts of random sight seeing. On Sunday I Did my washing, after holding out for two weeks, then went to Dali Universe (via waterloo station, which remindd me of central Sydney station.) dali universe had 400 dali works and a Picasso floor as well. The dali works were amazing. He was so weird, but a lot of his stuff makes sense. Like, there was a statue I liked in particular of Newton, with a string coming from his hand to suspend a metal ball, representing the ‘apple’. This was dali saying that the apple and gravity, and indeed newton himself, became depersonalised objects of science. His head and stomach were hollowed out to show newton’s lack of gut and sense as a result of becoming depersonalised. There were other famous works like another lobster telephone, which dali said “I canot understand why, in a restaurant, I ask for a lobster and they never serve me a telephone!!” to him, these two objects were erotic, apparently. Ok, he is weird. But the statues – their precise elegance and form despite being impossible, such as drawers protruding from the torso, just look so natural, and that is the cleverness of him.
On Monday I went flat hunting, and didn’t get anywhere. It resorted to me walking down Putney high street in the rain, seeking refuge in a pub to gather my thoughts. Then catching a bus to wimbledon, where I again walked around in the rain looking for ads in newsagent windows for ‘flats to let’. It was getting dark and I couldn’t find the tube station, and it was all a bit miserable because I did get quite lost
On tuesday, I saw the horse guard parade at Whitehall, with about 12 horses doing a precision routine. Beautiful black horses and red tunic guards. Also saw number ten downing street, well, I saw the street but the house is covered in security guarding. Then walked through st ajames’ park to Buckingham palace to see the changing of the guard, when the poor guards are finally relieved of their post. It was a huge procession of grey guards with their fluffy black hats, walking back and forth with the flag. Then there was a brass band that walked all the way down birdcage gate street and then up the Mall. There were thousands of people there, and this happens every second day!! Then I went to the Natural History museum briefly with emilie from work, which was in an amazing building looking like hogwarts. It is filled with stuffed animals and a giant animal exhibit including the cast of a blue whale. After that we went to a café and talked for a while, before walking down to Gloucester square, where she bought some flowers for her friend. It felt all very ‘notting hill.’
After leaving emilie I ‘tubed’ to st pauls cathedral, where I wandered around looking for this free jack the ripper tour which they had advertised at my hostel. It turned out to be starting from st pauls yha not the cathedral, which meant that I was wandering down dark alleys like ‘creed lane’ with cobblestone streets etc… to find a hostel. I had almost given up when I heard a belolowing voice down another alley, and I followed it, turning into the lane to see a huge mass of people circled around a tour guide, infront of a graveyard. Bingo.
It was nothing to do with Jack the Ripper, although I got a taste of the dark lanes where he committed the crimes, although it was very interesting.
A few facts:
• 200 years ago when churches didn’t have a lot of funding, they used to sell the bones which were stored in the crypts after being removed from their graves when their 50 year grave lease expired. ‘one skull, three femurs and a hip bone please’ to the anatomic research academy.” “That will be thirteen shillings.”
• Back in the old days they didn’t have the knowledge of a clean hanging, so they died of suffocation rather than breaking the neck. So they came up with the hanging technique of climbing a ladder and they themselves hurl themselves off the ladder. The higher they jump, the heavier they come down and the faster they die. After they die, they swing under the ladder they jumped off, which is why you should never walk under a ladder.
• The hangees would hold a handful of coins and at the moment of their hanging they would release the coins, which would fall to the ground, and if the price was right for the scavenging crowd, they would jump on the hangees legs to help them die quicker.
• Hangees would always be hung in new shoes, which is why you should never put new shoes on a table.
• At a particular time there were hymns sung in particular streets, giving the streets the names creed lane, amen court etc…
• My memory jogger: the brick wall at the end of amen court – dead mans walk.
• A statue of a fat buddha child erected to warn the people of the sins of glutony.
• The bells in a nursery rhyme, ‘oranges and lemons go the bells of saint Clemens,” etc… - we visited that church.
• We also visited the cathedral, st bartholemews, the most haunted church in London, which is said to be the most haunted city in the world, but they were doing filming in there. We concluded the tour in the graveyard. The church and yard were used in ‘four weddings and a funeral.’
Wednesday 25th – Monday 30th October:
Stayed with anne and gervase Wednesday night, with charlotte and tabitha. We went to a small concert with a famous Japanese string quartet, who played Mozart and Schubert and I was mesmerised by the cello. They were very good and I was astonicshed to learn that charlotte can play those pieces on the violin and piano. She’s 15 and so mature and intelligent. Very proper too, as they live in Guildford, which is said to be where the pure English originates – without an accent. I don’t believe that exists. Every person has an accent.
The next few nights I stayed with charlotte, tabitha, henry, Richard and Rachel, who were very good to me and we had some beautiful meals, and they took us out bowling – I reached the big 100, coming second to tabitha’s 121 – fluke we said. It was very relaxing – we watched videos, listened to them play their instruments, and went for walks in the woodlands, and then went for a bike ride through the town and woodlands, which was very beatrix potter like, with the run down greenhouses and bathtubs filled with lilies, rows of pine trees and small creeks running through, and stiles to climb over.
I also finally found a place, with all help from anne and her daughter Alison, who recommended ringing the churches. She did that for me, found a place for me, and when I rang them they only asked for 150 pounds a month, including food and bills, and I get a newly renovated room with an ensuite, double bed, tv, etc… with a view of the church and town, down a road resembling harry potters street, with the rows of identical terraced houses. Its awesome. I am going to be staying with a family with two little boys, ethan, who is 2 and jonathan, 5. They are gorgeous, with pale flawless white skin, and blonde hair like angels. They do get up at untimely hours and make a lot of ‘artistic’ mess, though, but it will beat hostels by far!! I moved in Monday night.
I got no sleep last night because I was stressing about starting work, and my family leaving. I couldn’t keep my heart rate down, so I broke out in a cold sweat and had a snippet of a dream about the queen. Whatever sleep I got was interrupted by panicking thoughts like “oh mum hasn’t given me her shampoos yet…”
I woke up and wrote a few pages of my diary (using the adrenaline running through my body – I’ve never typed so quickly and unaccurately.) and I packed, burnt some more disks and forced down a bit of breakfast. I felt nauseous all day. We settled my account at the bank, which was one thing off the list.
Anne and gervase cooked us a wonderful lunch – gammon and vegies, and it made me wonder where my next home cooked meal would be. I rang elle, which was … relieving I guess, to debrief with an ‘old friend’ as it seemed. I guess one needs that.
We dropped my family at Alamo to return the car, surprisingly untouched despite dying a thousand deaths on the road in the last 6 weeks. I burst out crying again – which is what happened when I saw them. I’ve never been so prone to crying before, but its stress I guess. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing your own capabilities.
I have to learn to trust myself more, but that doesn’t come easy.
Anne and gervase drove me to the hostel, which runs onto the Kensington palace gardens – a huge park with flower gardens, football fields and Japanese gardens. Nature is my therapy definitely. I have never lived in the city before, so I need easy access to a park to maintain my sanity.
I checked in then had a stroll around the park. It felt surreal – like I was an outsider peering in to a world to which I don’t believe I can fully belong. A legal alien. Everywhere I looked there were scenes which looked like a scene from a movie or a book. Elegant women walking their poodles, boys playing football and Frisbee, a girl running into a flock of pigeons. Couples sitting calmly side by side on a bench dedicated to someone who adored these gardens, watching the people coming and going, the birds, the squirrels, and the vast mass of colourful flowers.
I stopped and leant on a picket fence and watched a group of black wild bunnies in the lush green grass. Not too far away were two peacocks. I took a look through Kyoto gardens and saw a glimpse of a fox flash by. A second later a bunny scurried in the opposite direction. Three little ducks slipped into the water, which was coated in a soapy film, and their trails sent the soap swirling in delicate designs – a living painting.
I sat on a bench dedicated to Ben, who “was killed by a drunken driver, but loved the world”. I absorbed the scene – a maze of short cut hedges lining flower beds of deep purple lavendar, sunflowers etc… a squirrel scuttled up to my bench and climbed onto it, and sat and looked at me. It had grabbed an acorn and sat, as I did, looking out at the gardens, holding the little nut between three tiny paws… (just seeing if you are concentrating.)
I went to bed really early. But no-one cared when they came in later, leaving the light on, meaning I had quite a disturbed sleep.
11th October:
I woke up at 5:30am, surprisingly alert but again running on adrenaline. I made my way out of the hostel 15 minutes later, and hurried down Holland Park Walk, a brick wall on one side and a deep expanse of bush on the left. It was eerily lit by old fashioned lamp-posts which gave out a haunting weak light. A breeze rustled the autumn leaves before me, and I felt a presence, I really did. Seconds later, a fox appeared about twenty metres before me and stopped, silhouetted by the light. I continued walking and it scurried away.
The subway I wanted to catch had flooded, so I was stuck in the dark suburbia, no idea where to go. I found my way, luckily to Kensington high street station, having made a complete circle. Found the School, Linden House, quite easily, but it was locked. I was let in and found my way into the staffroom where I met angie, who directed me to the residential area. She instructed me to get Alex ready for school. She opened the door and in a hospital like room, a little boy lay awkwardly on the bed. He was pretty good. She left me to change his nappie etc, which I had no idea how to do on a 10 year old – they are pretty heavy to lift up.
We hoisted him into his wheelchair and I helped him brushed his teeth. It was frustrating because he started crying and the only sound I could get out of him when I asked him what he wanted was “eh eh em” like anne from little Britain, literally.
After that I wheeled him into the dining room and fed him breakfast. 15 other kids, some in wheelchairs, some sitting, some wandering around aimlessly… it was organised chaos. Every child occasionally let out a heart wrenching scream. Many dribbled. One, who was particularly difficult, was foaming excessively at the mouth and shook his hands violently. I would hate to be the one feeding him because he was awful. More food went on his apron than anywhere near his mouth.
At this point I was introduced to Hassan, who I am to be working with for the next few weeks. Compared to the others, I guess he is relatively easy. He is wheelchair bound, and I am not sure what exact disability he has. He is intravenously fed, which I thankfully don’t have to do, but the result that comes out the other end is revolting. I must have a pretty strong stomach, because it didn’t really phase me when we had to change him. He dribbles constantly and has a huge rolling tongue. He doesn’t talk, but moans and shakes his head in a figure eight, rocking violently in his wheelchair.
But the staff love him. They come up and give him hi-5’s and hugs (he is very strong and thought my head would pop off my neck). They call him a ‘charmer’ with the girls, and ‘gorgeous’, because he has these shocking blue eyes and darkish skin.
I was directed to our classroom, learning how to use the disabled lift. The classroom has seven kids and 6 staff. One on one attention, and they need it. They are all severely disabled: Mimi is an asian girl who walks, scratches, farts, and grabs. Miles is blind, with hardly any eyes on his face, but he is really smart, walks well and I quite like him. Kieron bites … hard, is half blind, walks, and musical. But he says random things really loud like “fish cakes tonight.” It’s the only time I don’t laugh at random outbursts. Ben rocks violently and is about 16, but walks ok. Beatrice is wheelchair bound and has eyes really wide apart, and shakes her hands a lot, I think she is quite difficult. So hassan is relatively quiet.
I started off the day with pooey nappie changing, which I just supervised – its not my job thankfully!! Just as well – nick is six years trained at it and still says he can’t get used to it. We hoisted him onto his change table and I had to hold his hands so he wouldn’t stick his hands in his poo. It stunk. I can’t put up with a normal poo smell, but this was intravenously fed liquid food that came out the other end looking exactly like clay-like sticky green duck poo. It took half a bottle of wipes to clean him. He managed to get his hands in it twice. He’s 15. And thought it was all a big joke.
Nick said he was surprised I handled it so well.
We did some activities like ‘maths’ (passing a physio ball around, trying to hit it five times.) lots of sensual stuff and musical stuff , and no written at all. Hassan is working on sign language, but hasn’t got the hand control to sign himself. I worked out that the head shaking was a sign of distress, and the tongue rolling and dribbling was a sign of happiness. He also spits, which the class room manager, mags, says is bad manners and not because of his disability.
We also had ‘break,’ where I sat with hassan, looking out on 40 kids in a pe hall. It was tough not to cry. Each one’s disability is so different. Each is in its own world. There is no interaction between them. Lots of little kids, from 4 to 16 were blind, and would walk until they hit something, dribbling and moaning. Others would spontaneously start screaming and rocking and biting each other. I know it sounds awful on my part – but it seemed like I was watching a scene from ‘shaun of the dead’, looking at a bunch of child zombies.
But then when I looked at the dozens of staff who have this obvious love for these kids, it makes me feel a little better. And when the kid actually responds with a laugh or anything that resembles a smile, it’s the most rewarding feeling and you can’t help but smile. Like when we took hassan on the trampoline and he was giggling uncontrollably.
The day sort of dragged on, but probably because it was so overwhelming, I did so many knew things, and I had gotten up early and worked from 7am to 4pm.
Thursday 12th October: 37 working days left (why am I already counting down?)
Had a better day today. Mainly because there were no pooey 14 year old nappies involved. Took the class to the shops, their highlight of the week. We got hassan some sherbet because he can’t eat, but can taste it on the tip of his tongue. It was weird walking down the suburban street with seven adults and seven severely disabled kids, because some people were staring and some were trying too hard not to stare. But I felt like I was being very… I don’t know the right word – humanitarian, the good guy, the charity, etc… the one who everyone watches and thinks how hard that job is. I felt sort of proud of myself for getting here. But I wouldn’t do it again – its all a bit too much sometimes. Its not really a holiday – it’s a learning ‘experience’. Always is. Had a chat with a few of the girls (staff) in the class, who are quite nice, and these days I will talk to anyone who looks remotely friendly, because I don’t really talk to anyone at the hostel. (except I met up wit ha new Zealand family who are really nice and I get along well with the eight year old girl.)
Friday 13th October: 36 days of work to go
Maybe I am superstitious, but Friday the 13th was a bad day. The kids were absolutely PSYCHO. I felt unsafe. I have already got a bruise on my arm from being bitten by keiron. Crystal was insane, we had to lie her down in the dark room to calm her down. I had to supervise ben on lunch duty. He looked at me and stopped on the swing, got up and walked toward me saying “tickle” and I panicked. ‘stay there ben, wait for aleqwa.’ ‘finished’ he said. He is a big boy and I know he could easily hurt me. I’m scared of most of the people in the class. Probably why I am with hassan, because he can’t ‘get me’ in a wheelchair. He does spit though. The only part of today that was ok was ‘computer club’. A cool blind kid called Jamie is a wiz on the computer and went on the internet to play heavy metal. He had the voice program on though, but even though he can’t see a thing he used a normal keyboard and was quicker than me on the computer. But I actually got to have a normal conversation with him, rather than listening to “ah ah em. Soooon. Finiiishhed. Fish cakes for dinner. Aaerrrghhthig (crystal).”
Saturday 14th October:
After a considerable sleep-in, I had my first breakfast at the hostel – yay no packed crossiants. I felt a little bit down, well, a lot: very lonely, very overwhelmed: I was finding the job testing and counting down after only a couple of days. I wanted a place to live and looked for flats on the internet. That got me nowhere, but I did get on msn and talked to elle, which was therapeutic whingeing. Funnily enough, it did calm me down. I love the way that we can talk endlessly about normal / deep things despite not seeing each other for yonks.
After that I made my way down Kensington high street and did some shopping. Good god, yes, amy, did some shopping. It wasn’t really ‘retail therapy’ because shopping distresses me: spending money and making decisions: my two pet peeves. But it sort of brought me back to the world, being around people, in a familiar environment.
After that I walked through hyde park and sat in a deckchair looking over a flat lagoon covered in ducks. I love parks in the city because literally the moment you leave the pavement, you are transported into a peaceful refuge that clears your head and gives you space to breathe and think.
Then I walked to the victoria and albert museum. It was disappointing that the da vinci exhibit had ‘sold out’ (how can that be?), but I saw a lot. Particularly interesting were the stained glass displays, the greek courts made of casts – like walking into Greece, rome etc… also the Japanese ones were interesting, and the modern art, especially the coke label covered crucifix. Then walked up to harrods, the famous department store. Of course I had no intention of buying anything, and didn’t, but to just see the food courts, filled with exotic seafood displays no bigger than a mini tub of yoghurt, topped with a crab claw holding a paprika dusted lemon: just $25 for three bites.
The Egyptian escalator was amazing. As you ascended you were surrounded in shining gold mummy heads and hieroglyphic adorned walls. Some very qwerky and expensive homewares: $25 for a fork, and $125 for a plate.
Walked and walked and walked. That’s London for you.
Sunday 15th October:
Managed to get up earlier and make the most of a nice day. First I went to Buckingham palace. Saw a guard on duty, and felt silly to be part of the crowd who stand around a person standing perfectly still. Walked through st james’ park and wandered along the thames, watching two squirrels spiralling up the twisted tree trunk playfully. There were swans, geese and various waterfowl on the banks and in the murky water. Headed along to see the Royal Mews, the royal horse and cart collection. Saw the state cart, which had been used since the 1500’s, but was apparently very uncomfortable. The queen said it ‘made her feel seasick.’ It was amazing to learn how they get it out of the building: they remove the whole side wall and after a ten point turn taking half a day they edge it through the two pillars with only centimetres left on both sides. Also saw the Australian 1988 bicentennial coach which is the most luxurious, featuring central heating (the others have hot water bottles only) and electric windows.
After that I headed up to Covent Garden, which is a famous market area with street performers, sort of like circular quays and the rocks without the water. I bought a cool david and goliath magnet with a dog on it saying “some days I just want to pee on everything.” I watched the coolest street performer. This short liitle guy who roused the crowd up, even getting an audience above in the restaurant. He was very cheeky, like, when this group got up and left, he chased them with a knife and made them sit down, which they eventually obeyed. Then when he was appealing for donations, he said “the money isn’t for me.” He grabbed a random kid and said “its for my son.” Then he juggled three sharp knives on top of a ‘volunteer’ he chose from the crowd.
After that I bought a jacket(after a ridiculous amount of deliberation and rationalising), and then headed up to the British Museum.
This was the most fantastic museum I have ever been to. I spent an hour in a section called ‘death and dying’, which sounds really morbid, but it was interesting as it had collections from all cultures, African to PNG, showing ceremonial masks, pills and all things to do with medical and spiritual healing. It sort of inspired me to travel the world and see the less fortunate countries, because they are so much more of an experience. I loved little things like how in the pacific they coat themselves in clay for mourning, and as the clay dries and painfully cracks off, they end mourning. And how pulling bone joints apart will disarm the soul. The things I have learnt.
Also saw the rosetta stone in the Egyptian part. Its cool about travelling when you get to see things that aren’t necessarily impressive, but famous to say “I’ve seen that.”
Also swa ‘taboo’ exhibition, with feathered masks and islander boats etc…
I got kinda lost on the way home because the subway terminated and I had to get two buses. I hate buses because I end up just as far away as when I started, because they never thake the exact route. And thereis noone to tell you when to get off. But at leasyou get a bit of a view.
I had a fantastic talk with the new Zealand family who I had been having meals with at the hostel. We talked for hours about everything from how political decisions were made to determine time differences – time zones aren’t straight, they wiggle around countries. Like china is all one time zone, despite one half waking up as the other half see sunset. Then we talked about things from ice age and animation, to what its like working in a disabled school, where you realise that a lot of the teaching is quite futile, and sometimes, (she said this, so don’t call me horrible), it seems ridiculous to keep them alive. But then you see the other side, you see the genuine love the teachers and carers have for these kids – the new zsealand mtother said it all: that there are tow categories of people, those who speak to the person themselves, and those who speak ‘about’ the person to their carer, as if they don’t exist. Sure, we don’t know what level of understanding they have – whether they are comptlely oblivious to the conversation, or whether they are understanding every word and just can’t react to it – that would be the most frustrating thing ever.
We also talked about what you gain out of travelling and I felt sort of proud of what I have done this year – I have experienced working full time, living independently, working with kids with disabilities and bipolar crazy croation boss, flying by myself, multiple modes of transport on one journey, conquering the streets in various cities, map reading, talking to strangers, meeting people from every continent in the world and about 20 different countries. Its not easy, but it is very rewarding, educational and develops you – I now know what my strengths and weaknesses actually are, where before they were just ‘words’ to fill up a CV.
Monday 16th October:
Had a better day today. Everything seemed a lot calmer, and apart from hassan spitting a lot in the afternoon, I actually had a bit of fun with him. Like I wsa reading to him and he actually turned the pages, clapped at the end and giggled. I had to feed a deaf and blind and very twitchy boy called franklin, and it was so frustrating. He’d finally raise the spoon to his mouth and I’d be like YES, and then he’d flip it upsdie down and he’d get it all down his front. Worse was when he got it in his mouth and then it all fell out again. Its all part of the ‘e’ word: experience.
TUESDAY 17TH and Wednesday 18th:
Both days were fairly ok. We had music, which was kinda fun because miles was on the drums and hassan wsa on xylophone (I love playing the xylophone…)
On Wednesday hassan was spitting and choking and every so often he’d convulse and all this thick foam would come out of his mouth. Then in the afternoon we had just finished changing him and he vomited. Then we got back to the classroom and we were reading him a story and I had just come back from getting paper towels to clean up his jumper and wipe more foam from his mouth, when he vomited into the towels I was holding. Lucky in a way that I was there to collect it for him. Again, I was surprised about my strongish stomach. The things I have learnt to do!! Anyway, he went home that afternoon.
I had to stay in a different hostel tonight because Holland house was booked out, so I got quite lost trying to get to Pimlico. The hostel was similar to the one in new york, just cleaner. And the room was filled with all nice girls: two from Quebec, one from italy, one from Australia and an amazing girl from Manchester. She had just come to live in England for three years, after getting funding for a research grant: she is going to be transcribing a historical manuscript for the next year of her life. She was so interested in other people, and was one of those angels that you briefly meet.
THURSDAY 19TH:
This morning I had to wake up really early because I had a long subway trip ahead of me/ I had to catch five subways in the spaceof one hour, because they kept terminating the lines. Which would have been ok if I (a) knew where I was going and (b) it wasn’t 5am.
I didn’t dress alex, but insteadgot a girl called kirsty ready. I was talking to her as we were putting on her lieg splints, and we were testing each other s knowledge of animals noises. I said “what noise does your favourite animal make.” She said “chocolate pudding.”
Anyway, I got to work and was assigned to replace rosemary, meaning I had to work with two classes, of older kids with mild disabilities. They were AWESOME and I had the best day so far. There is one kid called Bradley, who is blind but Is a really quick brailler (I got to work with him on the brailler, which was fascinating). The things he can do: when we were making papier mache darleks (from dr who), he did his all by touch, and gave his a mowhawk!! I mainly worked with a guy called huzma who is very slow, but it was satisfying actually teaching, rather than caring as I do with hassan.
I also worked with a guy called adam. He’s pretty blind, but really funny, because he’s into ramstein and trains. He came up to me really close and said “gosh you have an awfully long neck. I want to touch it.”
Friday 20th:
This morning I helped get crystal ready. If I can get her ready, I feel like I could get any of them ready. Crystal is extremely difficult. I had to brush her hair: she has the biggest afro I have seen. So I just flattened it with a whole lot of gel. Quite a disaster. But the strangest hing happened: she stopped in the hallway and gave me a hug. Apparently her home situation isn’t very good, and I kind of feel sorry for her. Every so often she comes up really close to me and stares at me with her big white eyes and this huge grin on her face. And then the next moment she is lashing out and off in her own world fighting the demons. That’s what it seems like.
Anyway, today I got to look after the 4 year olds. One, imi, kept crying so I left her to the other girls and looked afteresther, who is gorgeous. It was sort of boring just watching them play. But then we had a party and the best god damn cheesecake I have ever had. A lot of the kids just kept eating and eating, until they were sick. And then they tried to eat that. Esther doesn’t eat but instead ssat there hitting her head with a plate for half an hour.
After work, to celebrate the start of half term break (next week off yay), we all went to the pub. I only spent two pounds on a bitter lemon, then three people bought me drinks and a plate of chips. I met a girl called emilie who is from bondi and is really interested in art therapy. I couldn’t believe how much we had in common. She even stayed in Holland house at the same time I was there. What a coincidence!! Anyway, I was s partry pooper and left at 7pm, because I couldn’t stand the smoke anymore. My clothes stunk of it afterwards.
I was proud of the meal I made: garlic honey chicken and chilli thai stir fry. Made almost from scratch. Sort of.
Saturday 21st:
This morning I went to earls court to look for a flat. But realised it was pointless trying to wander around and wait until something jumped out at me. So I went back after walking through three suburbs without realising, and went on the net. I found afew places, including one for 100 pounds a week, as abedsit for 5 weeks in a family home with free wifi in Putney. I hope I get that one. After that it started raining and then started hailing and the street flooded. The next moment it was sunny. Freaky weather.
After an early dinner I headed off to the Tate Modern, open until 10pm. It was fantastic. There were heaps of surrealist dali works, including the metamorphosis of narcissus, and the lobster telephone. The most shocking thing though, was when I was walking through the sculptural surrealist gallery, and in the next room I heard an irish guy who was putting on a Spanish accent and shouting “this is shiiiiiitttt. Where is liiiiiife.” He’d drag out the last word of each sentence. I thought it wsa a performance work so went round to check it out, but it turned out to be an eccebntri guy calling everything ‘crap’. They called security. But the funnieset thing was the reaction of the others in the gallery. Everyone was silent with shock and amusement, and as he paraded around the rooms cursing at each work with a “this is shyte amegos,” a group of people, curious, followed him, holding back the giggles. I have to admit iwas one of them.
A few of my favourite works was a quartet theatre of small snippets of music and sounds, each screen flashing something different but all playing simpulateneously. It was chaotic but mesmerising.
Then there was pollocks ‘rhythms of nature,’ where the black swirls dominated the other colourful swirls, looking like seething figures morphing into one another, tyring to project a message to the outside world. It sort of… came alive. Then Fiona rae’s night vision, 1998, which was a black canvas with a few colourful geometric shapes. Ontop of this were a few random thick sloshes of paint, which was a few colours that had not quite blended in on the brush. It was a grat combination of organic versus synthetic amd was def something I would hang on my wall.
And who could forget the slippery dips which swirled from the top of the 7 story building to the bottom, as an artwork that people could actually go on!!!
Got back pretty late, after walking over the millennium bridge at night.
Sunday 22nd - Tuesday 24th:
Did all sorts of random sight seeing. On Sunday I Did my washing, after holding out for two weeks, then went to Dali Universe (via waterloo station, which remindd me of central Sydney station.) dali universe had 400 dali works and a Picasso floor as well. The dali works were amazing. He was so weird, but a lot of his stuff makes sense. Like, there was a statue I liked in particular of Newton, with a string coming from his hand to suspend a metal ball, representing the ‘apple’. This was dali saying that the apple and gravity, and indeed newton himself, became depersonalised objects of science. His head and stomach were hollowed out to show newton’s lack of gut and sense as a result of becoming depersonalised. There were other famous works like another lobster telephone, which dali said “I canot understand why, in a restaurant, I ask for a lobster and they never serve me a telephone!!” to him, these two objects were erotic, apparently. Ok, he is weird. But the statues – their precise elegance and form despite being impossible, such as drawers protruding from the torso, just look so natural, and that is the cleverness of him.
On Monday I went flat hunting, and didn’t get anywhere. It resorted to me walking down Putney high street in the rain, seeking refuge in a pub to gather my thoughts. Then catching a bus to wimbledon, where I again walked around in the rain looking for ads in newsagent windows for ‘flats to let’. It was getting dark and I couldn’t find the tube station, and it was all a bit miserable because I did get quite lost
On tuesday, I saw the horse guard parade at Whitehall, with about 12 horses doing a precision routine. Beautiful black horses and red tunic guards. Also saw number ten downing street, well, I saw the street but the house is covered in security guarding. Then walked through st ajames’ park to Buckingham palace to see the changing of the guard, when the poor guards are finally relieved of their post. It was a huge procession of grey guards with their fluffy black hats, walking back and forth with the flag. Then there was a brass band that walked all the way down birdcage gate street and then up the Mall. There were thousands of people there, and this happens every second day!! Then I went to the Natural History museum briefly with emilie from work, which was in an amazing building looking like hogwarts. It is filled with stuffed animals and a giant animal exhibit including the cast of a blue whale. After that we went to a café and talked for a while, before walking down to Gloucester square, where she bought some flowers for her friend. It felt all very ‘notting hill.’
After leaving emilie I ‘tubed’ to st pauls cathedral, where I wandered around looking for this free jack the ripper tour which they had advertised at my hostel. It turned out to be starting from st pauls yha not the cathedral, which meant that I was wandering down dark alleys like ‘creed lane’ with cobblestone streets etc… to find a hostel. I had almost given up when I heard a belolowing voice down another alley, and I followed it, turning into the lane to see a huge mass of people circled around a tour guide, infront of a graveyard. Bingo.
It was nothing to do with Jack the Ripper, although I got a taste of the dark lanes where he committed the crimes, although it was very interesting.
A few facts:
• 200 years ago when churches didn’t have a lot of funding, they used to sell the bones which were stored in the crypts after being removed from their graves when their 50 year grave lease expired. ‘one skull, three femurs and a hip bone please’ to the anatomic research academy.” “That will be thirteen shillings.”
• Back in the old days they didn’t have the knowledge of a clean hanging, so they died of suffocation rather than breaking the neck. So they came up with the hanging technique of climbing a ladder and they themselves hurl themselves off the ladder. The higher they jump, the heavier they come down and the faster they die. After they die, they swing under the ladder they jumped off, which is why you should never walk under a ladder.
• The hangees would hold a handful of coins and at the moment of their hanging they would release the coins, which would fall to the ground, and if the price was right for the scavenging crowd, they would jump on the hangees legs to help them die quicker.
• Hangees would always be hung in new shoes, which is why you should never put new shoes on a table.
• At a particular time there were hymns sung in particular streets, giving the streets the names creed lane, amen court etc…
• My memory jogger: the brick wall at the end of amen court – dead mans walk.
• A statue of a fat buddha child erected to warn the people of the sins of glutony.
• The bells in a nursery rhyme, ‘oranges and lemons go the bells of saint Clemens,” etc… - we visited that church.
• We also visited the cathedral, st bartholemews, the most haunted church in London, which is said to be the most haunted city in the world, but they were doing filming in there. We concluded the tour in the graveyard. The church and yard were used in ‘four weddings and a funeral.’
Wednesday 25th – Monday 30th October:
Stayed with anne and gervase Wednesday night, with charlotte and tabitha. We went to a small concert with a famous Japanese string quartet, who played Mozart and Schubert and I was mesmerised by the cello. They were very good and I was astonicshed to learn that charlotte can play those pieces on the violin and piano. She’s 15 and so mature and intelligent. Very proper too, as they live in Guildford, which is said to be where the pure English originates – without an accent. I don’t believe that exists. Every person has an accent.
The next few nights I stayed with charlotte, tabitha, henry, Richard and Rachel, who were very good to me and we had some beautiful meals, and they took us out bowling – I reached the big 100, coming second to tabitha’s 121 – fluke we said. It was very relaxing – we watched videos, listened to them play their instruments, and went for walks in the woodlands, and then went for a bike ride through the town and woodlands, which was very beatrix potter like, with the run down greenhouses and bathtubs filled with lilies, rows of pine trees and small creeks running through, and stiles to climb over.
I also finally found a place, with all help from anne and her daughter Alison, who recommended ringing the churches. She did that for me, found a place for me, and when I rang them they only asked for 150 pounds a month, including food and bills, and I get a newly renovated room with an ensuite, double bed, tv, etc… with a view of the church and town, down a road resembling harry potters street, with the rows of identical terraced houses. Its awesome. I am going to be staying with a family with two little boys, ethan, who is 2 and jonathan, 5. They are gorgeous, with pale flawless white skin, and blonde hair like angels. They do get up at untimely hours and make a lot of ‘artistic’ mess, though, but it will beat hostels by far!! I moved in Monday night.
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